I’ve been looking for some information on when and how the rack thing was used, and what Christian martyrs had to die on it (come to find out, they were mainly just stretched out on it), and I found this article.
Early Christian Martyrs
In his Ecclesiastical History, Eusebius tells of many martyrs in the Christian church prior to 324 C. E.. On this page are descriptions of the martyrdom of twenty-two of them. These Christians were put to death by heathen emperors, governors, and judges. What was their crime? It was admitting to being Christian. They did not have proper trials. They were tortured before being put to death. The one way to avoid the ordeal was to denounce one’s faith A few took this way out; but most, including those listed in this paper, did not. They frustrated their tormentors by cheerfully submitting to the torture. This list briefly describes the horrors that these Christians faced. The details are not pleasant to read. However, every present-day Christian should read about such atrocities as these which were inflicted on believers. Then he should evaluate his own faith. Would he be willing to die for his faith if he were faced with the same decision? Or would he find it easier to turn his back on his faith and save his life temporarily?
The names are in alphabetical order. The number in parentheses at the end of each account indicates where the information can be found in Ecclesiastical History.
The Martyrs
Agapius: He was brought to the arena with a murderer to be cast to wild animals. The emperor gave clemency to the murderer. When the Christian refused to accept liberty by renouncing his faith, he rushed against a bear let loose upon him. After being mauled by the bear, he was taken to prison. Surviving for one day, stones were bound to his feet, and he was thrown into the sea. (357)
Alpheus: He was scourged and scraped with iron hooks and severe bonds. He received different tortures on the rack, having his feet stretched a night and a day to the fourth hole in the stocks. At length, he was beheaded. (350)
Apollonia: They seized this elderly woman, beat her jaws, and broke out all her teeth. They built a fire and threatened to burn her alive unless she would repeat their impious expressions. She appeared to shrink a little, but when allowed to go, she suddenly sprang into the fire and was consumed. (258)
Apollonius: He was renowned for his learning and wisdom. After he gave an eloquent defence of the faith before the judge, he was decapitated according to the decree of the senate. (205)
Apphianus: When this youth tried to prevent Urbanus from sacrificing to a god, he was seized and torn by the soldiers. He received innumerable stripes on his whole body and was cast into prison. There he was stretched with both feet a night and a day on the rack. When he was brought before the judge and refused to make a sacrifice, his sides were furrowed and scraped to the bone while he was being beaten on the face and neck. When he still did not yield, they covered his feet with linen steeped in oil and set fire to the cloth. The fire penetrated to the bones, but the youth did not die or yield. Defeated, the tormentors returned him to prison. After three days, he was taken again to the judge. This time, as he remained faithful to his belief, he was thrown into the sea and drowned. (355)
Blandina: She was tortured by tormentors who took turns from morning till night until they were overcome. She continued to live despite her whole body being torn asunder and pierced. Later, she was bound and suspended on a stake, being exposed as food for wild animals. When none of the animals would touch her, she was taken down from the stake and returned to prison for another time. Then, after scourging, exposure to animals, and roasting, she was thrown into a net and cast before a bull. After much tossing from the animal, she died. (172-179)
Cronion: [See the account of Julian. These two received their like torture together.] (259)
Ennathas: She was dragged by force and brought before the judge. After being scourged and enduring dreadful abuses, she was stripped of her clothes above the loins. As she was led about the city, she was beaten with thongs of hide. She remained cheerful through this; and, when she was taken back before the judge, she was condemned to the flames. (365, 366)
Julian: He was an old man who was afflicted with gout. Having confessed the Lord in front of his accusers, he was carried on a camel throughout the city. In this elevation, he was scourged and finally consumed in an immense fire, surrounded by the thronging crowds of spectators. (259)
Metra: An aged man, he was called upon to utter impious statements. When he did not obey, his tormentors beat his body with clubs, and pricked his face and eyes. After that, they led him to the suburbs, where they stoned him. (257)
Origen: He endured many torments to the body because of his faith. He was under an iron collar, spent time in the deepest recesses of the prison, for many days was extended and stretched to four holes on the rack, was threatened by fire, and had other tortures. The judge tried hard to protract his life in order to prolong his sufferings. (255)
Polycarp: He was a teacher from Asia who taught multitudes not to sacrifice to the gods nor worship them. Through a vision he had, he said that he must be burned alive. After he was bound to the stake, he prayed and awaited the fire. The flames gave the appearance of an oven around him. He was in the midst, not like burning flesh, but like gold and silver purified in the flames. A fragrant odour, like the fumes of incense, or other precious aromatic drugs, was perceived. When the persecutors saw that his body could not be consumed by fire, they commanded the executor to plunge his sword into him. When this was done, such a quantity of blood gushed forth that the fire was extinguished. His body was later burned according to the custom of the Gentiles, and his bones were buried. (143)
Pothinus: He had performed the ministrations of the episcopate of Lyons. Although past ninety years of age, very infirm of body, he was taken to the tribunal where he stood firm in his faith. He was unmercifully dragged away and endured many stripes, while those nearby abused him with their hands and feet. Then, after two days in prison, he died. (174)
Procopius: Before he was tried by imprisonment, he was taken before the tribunal of the governor. When commanded to sacrifice to the gods, he declared that he knew only one to whom it was proper to sacrifice. When ordered to make libations [the ritual of pouring out wine or oil in honor of a god] to the four emperors, he stated a sentence which did not please his accusers. Immediately, he was beheaded. (349)
Quinta: They took her to the temple of an idol and tried to force her to worship. When she turned away in disgust, they tied her by the feet and dragged her through the city, dashing her against the millstones and scourging her at the same time. When they completed the dragging where they started, they stoned her. (257)
Sanctus: He suffered many torments devised by men. When these men could do no more, they fastened hot plates of brass to the most tender parts of his body. He withstood all the suffering, but his body was one continued wound, mangled and shrivelled, that had entirely lost the form of man to the external eye. Again, he passed through the tortures. These included the strokes of the scourge, the draggings and lacerations from the beasts, other tortures demanded by the audience, and the iron chair upon which his body was roasted. Other tortures followed until he died. (172-176)
Serapion: He was seized in his own house. After torturing him with the severest cruelties and breaking all his limbs, they threw him headlong from an upper storey of the house. (258)
Simeon: He was the son of Cleophas, a descendant of David, and the second bishop of Jerusalem. When he was one hundred and twenty years old, a search was made for any descendants of David. Simeon was one who was taken into custody. After he had been tormented for several days, he was crucified. (118)
Theodosia: She was not yet eighteen years old, yet was distinguished for her faith and virtue. As she approached some prisoners before the judgment seat to salute them, she was seized by the soldiers and led away to the commander. She was tortured cruelly, having her sides and breasts furrowed with instruments even to the bones. She kept a cheerful and joyful countenance throughout. Then she was ordered to be cast into the sea. (359)
Timotheus:He endured a multitude of tortures. Then he was condemned to be consumed by a slow and gentle fire. Throughout it all, he exhibited an undeniable proof of his sincere devotedness to God. (352)
Ulpian: He was a young man who suffered dreadful torments and the most severe scourgings. After all of these, he was sewn in a raw bull’s hide, together with a dog and a poisonous asp, and thrown into the sea. (357)
Zaccheus: [See the account of Alpheus. These two received their like torture together.] (350)
Conclusion
These accounts may not seem to be believable, yet they are documented in the writings of the best-known and most reliable historian in the early Christian church. How can people treat others so cruelly? Those were pagans; but Christians would never do that, would they? They would, and they have. A classic account of this is Foxe’s Christian Martyrs of the World. Much of his chronicle describes events in England during the reign of Queen Mary, the sister of Queen Elizabeth I. Many of the victims saw abuses and false teachings in the Roman Catholic church and had left it. During this time, that church was the official one in the country. Non-Catholics were outcasts and suffered cruel punishments. Other martyrs, including the apostles and European reformers are also described. The Catholics, too, suffered when the official church was a Protestant one. The Spanish Inquisition was a period when civil authorities persecuted, expelled, or killed Catholics who had renounced their faith, Protestants, Jews, and Muslims.
What happened to early-day Mormons who tried to leave the group in what is now Utah? What happens to members of some cults who discover that they have been deceived? What happens to Christians who try to teach the Gospel in a country that forbids Christianity? What did Christians do to Jews during the Crusade expeditions and during World War II? What happens to Muslims in Western nations? Many of the first colonists in the United States were Christians seeking freedom of worship that they did not have in their homelands which had an official so-called "Christian" religion. Some Christians are guilty of ostracization and other psychological means to attack those who leave their churches. Many Christians today are very apathetic about their proclaimed faith. They take for granted the religious freedom which they have.
I had a dream earlier that this man was put on the torture thing called the rack, and I watched as he was slowly pulled apart and killed. They were going to also kill me and another person, and I stood there thinking, maybe they’ll do me last, by that time the rack operator will have gotten it all out of his system and just do me real quick. Sort of like the ride operators at the carnival, you can tell if they’ve had a good day or a bad day by the way they do the rides. Sometimes they let you go twice, sometimes they speed it up, sometimes they make it go TOO fast, even when all the kids are screaming. This is mainly true with rides that just spin.
So! Then, before I woke up, I had another short dream, I was driving, and there was a thing of deer antlers on the seat, sort of between me and the steering wheel! Another rack!
So now here I sit, all wide-eyed and bushy tailed, with a huge question mark above my head and my Foxe’s Book of English Martyrs on my lap, I’ve been looking through it for some kind of connection. About the torture rack, not the deer rack.
About the deer rack. Does that mean my hypothetical balls that I keep referring to are growing?
Cause the antlers were sort of sitting there on the car seat.
I’ve been tricked, swindled, had the wool pulled over my eyes, shot and stuffed in the trunk of a 1939 Cadillac in the moonlight. Don’t make the same mistake I have made. What is it? It is: Applying Online.
Don’t do it. Here’s what happens. See it’s not really applying for work, no, what it is, is you giving out your information to the Powers That Be, and then the next thing you know, the entire world has your cell phone number, address, and anything else you would rather be kept private.
Throughout all these months of looking for work, not one worthy employer has called, but about ten thousand cronies of Big Brother have hit me up. Mainly it’s the phone company I’m hiding from, seeing as how I owe them about a thousand bucks for a set of cell phones that I agreed to be put in my name. I shudder at the thought of what Judge Judy would have to say to me about that. Or even worse, Dr. Laura.
So I up and had my number changed. It’s a beautiful thing. My usual thing is changing it about once a year, so it was long overdue anyway. I went ahead and deleted a few obsolete contacts, then called my Inner Circle, and instructed everyone to just play like they don’t know me if anyone asks for my number. I feel free once more.
My mother is at the store getting taco makings. I said, please no more light sour cream, please get the real thing. I need some fat and some calories right now. I don’t know what’s going on but I have no appetite and I’m losing weight. Which is not a good thing, seeing as how I’m about to be sucked into the system again and I need to be feelin hearty and strong. Instead, currently, I’m feeling trembly and chills and foggy and exhausted. How can I make a good impression like that? I don’t know what’s wrong but I seem to have the strength of an 80 year old woman right now.
Yesterday I slept from 3:00 pm to 9:30 pm, was up for a while, got caffeinated and tried to blog, but was too exhausted, and ended up sleeping until this morning. And today it’ll probably hit me again around 3 or 4 and I’ll need to sleep again. I haven’t been this tired in months.
I had to go to the bookstore & get a book on vitamins to refresh my brain on all of it. I really don’t buy into any of it. But seeing as how that’s what I’ve been doing for the past decade I’m thinking that’s where I belong. Working the vitamin stores. On some levels I think I really hate it, deep down. Then again it’s so easy. But then again I resent the fact that I’m spending so much time learning about nutrition when the body is dying anyway. I’m quite conflicted about the whole thing and this is why sometimes I fantasize about having a Sugar Daddy, but who doesn’t?
I can’t believe this. I can’t stop blogging now. As it turns out, if you rearrange the letters in my maiden name, it spells normal! But with an H. So now I have to use it. So I’m back, but just for a little while. I can’t let this discovery go to waste. I’ve been in need of a good name for a long time. I’m not sure but this may be it. But then again I just don’t know. It’s not cute enough. We’ll see. I did have a good blogging name already but the thing is, I stole it. Which compromises my need to be original. Even though my maiden name was technically stolen from my father, it’s still mine. And even more mine, if I switch around the letters, right?
It’s a good thing I discovered this today because it gave me incentive to get back on, and that’s good, because I have some things to report. For starters, today I ate Clown Food. There’s no other way to describe it. It was all a mistake. I couldn’t keep up with the drive thru line, it went so fast, there was no time to really read and decide, and I was rushed, as usual, so instead of ordering something I really wanted, I just blurted out that I wanted the breakfast 6. The orange juice was good, the hash brown was good. But the main course was something that a 5 year old must have thought up. It was: a McGriddle. I never had one before, mainly because I haven’t been out of the house before noon in over a year, and if I am, it’s Whataburger all the way. But today was different, as I was exploring a new area for new possibilities, when lo and behold, a thrift store! One I never even knew existed! But it didn’t open for 15 more minutes, thus, my trek through McDonald’s, and that’s how I ended up eating Clown Food for breakfast. Let me tell you about it. I opened up the wrapper, glanced at it, and just busted out laughing. Instead of a bun, my meal was tucked in between two little pancakes, and not only that but they had the big M on them, like seared in. Then, perfect looking strips of bacon that were cut in perfect squares, on top of a bright yellow egg that looked like something I played with in preschool in the play kitchen area. The cheese was neon orange. I took a bite and started laughing even more, because, as if the appearance of the thing were not enough, this little do-dadd of a meal has SYRUP on it. Yes. Syrup. I can’t believe this is even served to adults. I did eat it, and enjoyed it, but I just kept thinking of some clown somewhere, laughing. At the fact that somewhere out there, people are eating his invention. I called my brother in law cause I thought he would get into a conversation about it with me, but no! As it turns out, he loves them! I couldn’t believe it. I’m surprised there wasn’t a little piece of candy lodged in the center of it, or maybe a little surprise toy. Nevermind.
The other thing I had to report is what I found in the thrift store! I was supposed to be looking for decent clothes for an interview, but instead something so cute caught my eye, it was a little piece of wood with some ceramic peas on it. You hang it on your wall. It looks like some old lady made it and it is so cute! It’s three pods, and the one in the middle is opened and you can see the little peas inside. It looks like she just rolled a bunch of clay into little balls and tucked them in there, and painted them green. I don’t know why I like it so much, but it’s hanging on my bathroom wall now. It’s the very first thing I’ve bought in about 2 years that’s a decoration of some kind. And the more I look at it, the more I realize, I want more things like that. I’m not sure but I think I might be going country, but not in a Texas way, no, it’s more like, stop trying and see beauty in junk kind of way. Like, bottle cap windchimes and things like that. You know what I’m talking about. The things you really deep down want in your house. Not junk, not clutter, but things that make you feel happy. I’m telling you, thrift stores are a haven of wealth and they are always chock full of happy things. They never let me down.
Well it looks like my snake is hot again. My Virtual Snake. My Interlocking Lexicon of Love Links. And my ex is paying the price. Ha! That’s funny. Seeing as how he answers emails and I don’t, all our old friends inquire about me to him, then he turns around and calls me and he’s like, You’ll never believe who I talked to today... and I always have to say, DO NOT GIVE OUT MY INFORMATION. There is a reason why I am not available. It’s simple! Cause I don’t want to be! If you get ballsy enough like me, you too can be free one day.
I got more compliments from him today. He made my day. In fact he’s the reason why I’m up & blogging as we speak, I’m in a good mood all cause of him. He said, Amy you never ceased to amaze me when we were married. I just don’t know how you did it. It didn’t matter HOW broke we were, or how shitty of a dump we lived in, or the fact that I worked TWO shifts to put food on the table...but you ALWAYS found a way to use my peanut butter and my bread and make sandwiches for all the f**king homeless people and pass them out.
Then we got on the subject of how funny it is that people who don’t know me, guys especially, mistake me for being sweet. I said, well I am sweet, just protective of my mind. And he goes, Oh! You don’t have to tell me! I know better than to go near that dangerous bastard!
Sometimes I think I would marry him all over again, just so I could enjoy this divorce to him. Hey! Now there’s a thought! Do you always have to get married in order to be divorced? Would it be possible to meet someone, fall in love, then head to the courthouse for a divorce? Without getting married? Then, when the honeymoon is over, get married? Cause isn’t that the way it is anyway? Why are people so unhappy when they’re married, then relieved and happy and friends when they’re divorced? Why is this?
I’m so lazy right now just the thought of making this a cute profile makes me want to sleep. I’m exhausted. Why can’t I stop this blogging? If you would stop reading then maybe I would stop writing. You are enabling me. I’m going to have to put my foot down right here and ask you to stop.
But then I hear so & so was reading my stuff, and then someone asked me today, done any writing lately? HOW CAN I QUIT? I’m trying! I can’t! This is turning into a real nightmare! What next! Who knows! Alright that’s it. I’m going to bed but when I get up I’m making a HUGE POT OF COFFEE and YOU’RE ALL GOING TO PAY THE PRICE.
Early Christian Martyrs
In his Ecclesiastical History, Eusebius tells of many martyrs in the Christian church prior to 324 C. E.. On this page are descriptions of the martyrdom of twenty-two of them. These Christians were put to death by heathen emperors, governors, and judges. What was their crime? It was admitting to being Christian. They did not have proper trials. They were tortured before being put to death. The one way to avoid the ordeal was to denounce one’s faith A few took this way out; but most, including those listed in this paper, did not. They frustrated their tormentors by cheerfully submitting to the torture. This list briefly describes the horrors that these Christians faced. The details are not pleasant to read. However, every present-day Christian should read about such atrocities as these which were inflicted on believers. Then he should evaluate his own faith. Would he be willing to die for his faith if he were faced with the same decision? Or would he find it easier to turn his back on his faith and save his life temporarily?
The names are in alphabetical order. The number in parentheses at the end of each account indicates where the information can be found in Ecclesiastical History.
The Martyrs
Agapius: He was brought to the arena with a murderer to be cast to wild animals. The emperor gave clemency to the murderer. When the Christian refused to accept liberty by renouncing his faith, he rushed against a bear let loose upon him. After being mauled by the bear, he was taken to prison. Surviving for one day, stones were bound to his feet, and he was thrown into the sea. (357)
Alpheus: He was scourged and scraped with iron hooks and severe bonds. He received different tortures on the rack, having his feet stretched a night and a day to the fourth hole in the stocks. At length, he was beheaded. (350)
Apollonia: They seized this elderly woman, beat her jaws, and broke out all her teeth. They built a fire and threatened to burn her alive unless she would repeat their impious expressions. She appeared to shrink a little, but when allowed to go, she suddenly sprang into the fire and was consumed. (258)
Apollonius: He was renowned for his learning and wisdom. After he gave an eloquent defence of the faith before the judge, he was decapitated according to the decree of the senate. (205)
Apphianus: When this youth tried to prevent Urbanus from sacrificing to a god, he was seized and torn by the soldiers. He received innumerable stripes on his whole body and was cast into prison. There he was stretched with both feet a night and a day on the rack. When he was brought before the judge and refused to make a sacrifice, his sides were furrowed and scraped to the bone while he was being beaten on the face and neck. When he still did not yield, they covered his feet with linen steeped in oil and set fire to the cloth. The fire penetrated to the bones, but the youth did not die or yield. Defeated, the tormentors returned him to prison. After three days, he was taken again to the judge. This time, as he remained faithful to his belief, he was thrown into the sea and drowned. (355)
Blandina: She was tortured by tormentors who took turns from morning till night until they were overcome. She continued to live despite her whole body being torn asunder and pierced. Later, she was bound and suspended on a stake, being exposed as food for wild animals. When none of the animals would touch her, she was taken down from the stake and returned to prison for another time. Then, after scourging, exposure to animals, and roasting, she was thrown into a net and cast before a bull. After much tossing from the animal, she died. (172-179)
Cronion: [See the account of Julian. These two received their like torture together.] (259)
Ennathas: She was dragged by force and brought before the judge. After being scourged and enduring dreadful abuses, she was stripped of her clothes above the loins. As she was led about the city, she was beaten with thongs of hide. She remained cheerful through this; and, when she was taken back before the judge, she was condemned to the flames. (365, 366)
Julian: He was an old man who was afflicted with gout. Having confessed the Lord in front of his accusers, he was carried on a camel throughout the city. In this elevation, he was scourged and finally consumed in an immense fire, surrounded by the thronging crowds of spectators. (259)
Metra: An aged man, he was called upon to utter impious statements. When he did not obey, his tormentors beat his body with clubs, and pricked his face and eyes. After that, they led him to the suburbs, where they stoned him. (257)
Origen: He endured many torments to the body because of his faith. He was under an iron collar, spent time in the deepest recesses of the prison, for many days was extended and stretched to four holes on the rack, was threatened by fire, and had other tortures. The judge tried hard to protract his life in order to prolong his sufferings. (255)
Polycarp: He was a teacher from Asia who taught multitudes not to sacrifice to the gods nor worship them. Through a vision he had, he said that he must be burned alive. After he was bound to the stake, he prayed and awaited the fire. The flames gave the appearance of an oven around him. He was in the midst, not like burning flesh, but like gold and silver purified in the flames. A fragrant odour, like the fumes of incense, or other precious aromatic drugs, was perceived. When the persecutors saw that his body could not be consumed by fire, they commanded the executor to plunge his sword into him. When this was done, such a quantity of blood gushed forth that the fire was extinguished. His body was later burned according to the custom of the Gentiles, and his bones were buried. (143)
Pothinus: He had performed the ministrations of the episcopate of Lyons. Although past ninety years of age, very infirm of body, he was taken to the tribunal where he stood firm in his faith. He was unmercifully dragged away and endured many stripes, while those nearby abused him with their hands and feet. Then, after two days in prison, he died. (174)
Procopius: Before he was tried by imprisonment, he was taken before the tribunal of the governor. When commanded to sacrifice to the gods, he declared that he knew only one to whom it was proper to sacrifice. When ordered to make libations [the ritual of pouring out wine or oil in honor of a god] to the four emperors, he stated a sentence which did not please his accusers. Immediately, he was beheaded. (349)
Quinta: They took her to the temple of an idol and tried to force her to worship. When she turned away in disgust, they tied her by the feet and dragged her through the city, dashing her against the millstones and scourging her at the same time. When they completed the dragging where they started, they stoned her. (257)
Sanctus: He suffered many torments devised by men. When these men could do no more, they fastened hot plates of brass to the most tender parts of his body. He withstood all the suffering, but his body was one continued wound, mangled and shrivelled, that had entirely lost the form of man to the external eye. Again, he passed through the tortures. These included the strokes of the scourge, the draggings and lacerations from the beasts, other tortures demanded by the audience, and the iron chair upon which his body was roasted. Other tortures followed until he died. (172-176)
Serapion: He was seized in his own house. After torturing him with the severest cruelties and breaking all his limbs, they threw him headlong from an upper storey of the house. (258)
Simeon: He was the son of Cleophas, a descendant of David, and the second bishop of Jerusalem. When he was one hundred and twenty years old, a search was made for any descendants of David. Simeon was one who was taken into custody. After he had been tormented for several days, he was crucified. (118)
Theodosia: She was not yet eighteen years old, yet was distinguished for her faith and virtue. As she approached some prisoners before the judgment seat to salute them, she was seized by the soldiers and led away to the commander. She was tortured cruelly, having her sides and breasts furrowed with instruments even to the bones. She kept a cheerful and joyful countenance throughout. Then she was ordered to be cast into the sea. (359)
Timotheus:He endured a multitude of tortures. Then he was condemned to be consumed by a slow and gentle fire. Throughout it all, he exhibited an undeniable proof of his sincere devotedness to God. (352)
Ulpian: He was a young man who suffered dreadful torments and the most severe scourgings. After all of these, he was sewn in a raw bull’s hide, together with a dog and a poisonous asp, and thrown into the sea. (357)
Zaccheus: [See the account of Alpheus. These two received their like torture together.] (350)
Conclusion
These accounts may not seem to be believable, yet they are documented in the writings of the best-known and most reliable historian in the early Christian church. How can people treat others so cruelly? Those were pagans; but Christians would never do that, would they? They would, and they have. A classic account of this is Foxe’s Christian Martyrs of the World. Much of his chronicle describes events in England during the reign of Queen Mary, the sister of Queen Elizabeth I. Many of the victims saw abuses and false teachings in the Roman Catholic church and had left it. During this time, that church was the official one in the country. Non-Catholics were outcasts and suffered cruel punishments. Other martyrs, including the apostles and European reformers are also described. The Catholics, too, suffered when the official church was a Protestant one. The Spanish Inquisition was a period when civil authorities persecuted, expelled, or killed Catholics who had renounced their faith, Protestants, Jews, and Muslims.
What happened to early-day Mormons who tried to leave the group in what is now Utah? What happens to members of some cults who discover that they have been deceived? What happens to Christians who try to teach the Gospel in a country that forbids Christianity? What did Christians do to Jews during the Crusade expeditions and during World War II? What happens to Muslims in Western nations? Many of the first colonists in the United States were Christians seeking freedom of worship that they did not have in their homelands which had an official so-called "Christian" religion. Some Christians are guilty of ostracization and other psychological means to attack those who leave their churches. Many Christians today are very apathetic about their proclaimed faith. They take for granted the religious freedom which they have.
I had a dream earlier that this man was put on the torture thing called the rack, and I watched as he was slowly pulled apart and killed. They were going to also kill me and another person, and I stood there thinking, maybe they’ll do me last, by that time the rack operator will have gotten it all out of his system and just do me real quick. Sort of like the ride operators at the carnival, you can tell if they’ve had a good day or a bad day by the way they do the rides. Sometimes they let you go twice, sometimes they speed it up, sometimes they make it go TOO fast, even when all the kids are screaming. This is mainly true with rides that just spin.
So! Then, before I woke up, I had another short dream, I was driving, and there was a thing of deer antlers on the seat, sort of between me and the steering wheel! Another rack!
So now here I sit, all wide-eyed and bushy tailed, with a huge question mark above my head and my Foxe’s Book of English Martyrs on my lap, I’ve been looking through it for some kind of connection. About the torture rack, not the deer rack.
About the deer rack. Does that mean my hypothetical balls that I keep referring to are growing?
Cause the antlers were sort of sitting there on the car seat.
I’ve been tricked, swindled, had the wool pulled over my eyes, shot and stuffed in the trunk of a 1939 Cadillac in the moonlight. Don’t make the same mistake I have made. What is it? It is: Applying Online.
Don’t do it. Here’s what happens. See it’s not really applying for work, no, what it is, is you giving out your information to the Powers That Be, and then the next thing you know, the entire world has your cell phone number, address, and anything else you would rather be kept private.
Throughout all these months of looking for work, not one worthy employer has called, but about ten thousand cronies of Big Brother have hit me up. Mainly it’s the phone company I’m hiding from, seeing as how I owe them about a thousand bucks for a set of cell phones that I agreed to be put in my name. I shudder at the thought of what Judge Judy would have to say to me about that. Or even worse, Dr. Laura.
So I up and had my number changed. It’s a beautiful thing. My usual thing is changing it about once a year, so it was long overdue anyway. I went ahead and deleted a few obsolete contacts, then called my Inner Circle, and instructed everyone to just play like they don’t know me if anyone asks for my number. I feel free once more.
My mother is at the store getting taco makings. I said, please no more light sour cream, please get the real thing. I need some fat and some calories right now. I don’t know what’s going on but I have no appetite and I’m losing weight. Which is not a good thing, seeing as how I’m about to be sucked into the system again and I need to be feelin hearty and strong. Instead, currently, I’m feeling trembly and chills and foggy and exhausted. How can I make a good impression like that? I don’t know what’s wrong but I seem to have the strength of an 80 year old woman right now.
Yesterday I slept from 3:00 pm to 9:30 pm, was up for a while, got caffeinated and tried to blog, but was too exhausted, and ended up sleeping until this morning. And today it’ll probably hit me again around 3 or 4 and I’ll need to sleep again. I haven’t been this tired in months.
I had to go to the bookstore & get a book on vitamins to refresh my brain on all of it. I really don’t buy into any of it. But seeing as how that’s what I’ve been doing for the past decade I’m thinking that’s where I belong. Working the vitamin stores. On some levels I think I really hate it, deep down. Then again it’s so easy. But then again I resent the fact that I’m spending so much time learning about nutrition when the body is dying anyway. I’m quite conflicted about the whole thing and this is why sometimes I fantasize about having a Sugar Daddy, but who doesn’t?
I can’t believe this. I can’t stop blogging now. As it turns out, if you rearrange the letters in my maiden name, it spells normal! But with an H. So now I have to use it. So I’m back, but just for a little while. I can’t let this discovery go to waste. I’ve been in need of a good name for a long time. I’m not sure but this may be it. But then again I just don’t know. It’s not cute enough. We’ll see. I did have a good blogging name already but the thing is, I stole it. Which compromises my need to be original. Even though my maiden name was technically stolen from my father, it’s still mine. And even more mine, if I switch around the letters, right?
It’s a good thing I discovered this today because it gave me incentive to get back on, and that’s good, because I have some things to report. For starters, today I ate Clown Food. There’s no other way to describe it. It was all a mistake. I couldn’t keep up with the drive thru line, it went so fast, there was no time to really read and decide, and I was rushed, as usual, so instead of ordering something I really wanted, I just blurted out that I wanted the breakfast 6. The orange juice was good, the hash brown was good. But the main course was something that a 5 year old must have thought up. It was: a McGriddle. I never had one before, mainly because I haven’t been out of the house before noon in over a year, and if I am, it’s Whataburger all the way. But today was different, as I was exploring a new area for new possibilities, when lo and behold, a thrift store! One I never even knew existed! But it didn’t open for 15 more minutes, thus, my trek through McDonald’s, and that’s how I ended up eating Clown Food for breakfast. Let me tell you about it. I opened up the wrapper, glanced at it, and just busted out laughing. Instead of a bun, my meal was tucked in between two little pancakes, and not only that but they had the big M on them, like seared in. Then, perfect looking strips of bacon that were cut in perfect squares, on top of a bright yellow egg that looked like something I played with in preschool in the play kitchen area. The cheese was neon orange. I took a bite and started laughing even more, because, as if the appearance of the thing were not enough, this little do-dadd of a meal has SYRUP on it. Yes. Syrup. I can’t believe this is even served to adults. I did eat it, and enjoyed it, but I just kept thinking of some clown somewhere, laughing. At the fact that somewhere out there, people are eating his invention. I called my brother in law cause I thought he would get into a conversation about it with me, but no! As it turns out, he loves them! I couldn’t believe it. I’m surprised there wasn’t a little piece of candy lodged in the center of it, or maybe a little surprise toy. Nevermind.
The other thing I had to report is what I found in the thrift store! I was supposed to be looking for decent clothes for an interview, but instead something so cute caught my eye, it was a little piece of wood with some ceramic peas on it. You hang it on your wall. It looks like some old lady made it and it is so cute! It’s three pods, and the one in the middle is opened and you can see the little peas inside. It looks like she just rolled a bunch of clay into little balls and tucked them in there, and painted them green. I don’t know why I like it so much, but it’s hanging on my bathroom wall now. It’s the very first thing I’ve bought in about 2 years that’s a decoration of some kind. And the more I look at it, the more I realize, I want more things like that. I’m not sure but I think I might be going country, but not in a Texas way, no, it’s more like, stop trying and see beauty in junk kind of way. Like, bottle cap windchimes and things like that. You know what I’m talking about. The things you really deep down want in your house. Not junk, not clutter, but things that make you feel happy. I’m telling you, thrift stores are a haven of wealth and they are always chock full of happy things. They never let me down.
Well it looks like my snake is hot again. My Virtual Snake. My Interlocking Lexicon of Love Links. And my ex is paying the price. Ha! That’s funny. Seeing as how he answers emails and I don’t, all our old friends inquire about me to him, then he turns around and calls me and he’s like, You’ll never believe who I talked to today... and I always have to say, DO NOT GIVE OUT MY INFORMATION. There is a reason why I am not available. It’s simple! Cause I don’t want to be! If you get ballsy enough like me, you too can be free one day.
I got more compliments from him today. He made my day. In fact he’s the reason why I’m up & blogging as we speak, I’m in a good mood all cause of him. He said, Amy you never ceased to amaze me when we were married. I just don’t know how you did it. It didn’t matter HOW broke we were, or how shitty of a dump we lived in, or the fact that I worked TWO shifts to put food on the table...but you ALWAYS found a way to use my peanut butter and my bread and make sandwiches for all the f**king homeless people and pass them out.
Then we got on the subject of how funny it is that people who don’t know me, guys especially, mistake me for being sweet. I said, well I am sweet, just protective of my mind. And he goes, Oh! You don’t have to tell me! I know better than to go near that dangerous bastard!
Sometimes I think I would marry him all over again, just so I could enjoy this divorce to him. Hey! Now there’s a thought! Do you always have to get married in order to be divorced? Would it be possible to meet someone, fall in love, then head to the courthouse for a divorce? Without getting married? Then, when the honeymoon is over, get married? Cause isn’t that the way it is anyway? Why are people so unhappy when they’re married, then relieved and happy and friends when they’re divorced? Why is this?
I’m so lazy right now just the thought of making this a cute profile makes me want to sleep. I’m exhausted. Why can’t I stop this blogging? If you would stop reading then maybe I would stop writing. You are enabling me. I’m going to have to put my foot down right here and ask you to stop.
But then I hear so & so was reading my stuff, and then someone asked me today, done any writing lately? HOW CAN I QUIT? I’m trying! I can’t! This is turning into a real nightmare! What next! Who knows! Alright that’s it. I’m going to bed but when I get up I’m making a HUGE POT OF COFFEE and YOU’RE ALL GOING TO PAY THE PRICE.
